high hope

by spin

Another year yet. And, really, not much has changed. I’m still listening to the same albums; my Spotify history is embarrassing. It’s just playlist after playlist of what should have been.

I guess it’s not so bad. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic. Let’s start over.

I’ve had the most wonderful things said about me recently. I’m not normally one to get caught up in it, but it’s difficult not to when someone else’s words catch your throat. Someone, somewhere, thinks I have value. I know we tell ourselves that — that we’ve got something to give, that we mean something to someone, but it’s easy to lose sight of it. That’s what I’ve been missing in my life.

Some days I miss you. Others I don’t. Given enough time, I’m sure we’ll end up the way we used to be. Each day begets that. And bringing it up makes it worse, I’ve found.

There’s not so much time in a year — it’s easy to let it pass you by. I got caught up in this last one. I forgot the things I learned not even that long ago. And maybe it’s a little late for resolutions, but I’m giving myself this short year to get it sorted out; to find the people that mean something to me, who still think I mean something to them.

“Be selfish” — you taught me that.

But you were wrong.